As a knitter who reads quite a few knitting blogs (and really, all maker-blogs deal with this to a certain extent, but knitting blogs seem to be the worst, probably because of the whole slow, non-rush-able nature of the craft) I have noticed a certain phenomenon that occurs every year at Christmas which, you might expect even from my tone so far, drives me freaking insane. I see it start in November. It gets worse and more ridiculous as December rolls in. About a week before the actual holiday it reaches it’s apex — or really, I should say, it’s nadir. Yep, it’s the goddamn Christmas gift-list.
It’s not even the ridiculously long lists themselves that get me. Really, it’s the endless complaining about it. Dudes, if it drives you crazy; compromises your mental health; keeps you from enjoying the holiday; makes you pull an all-nighter on Christmas Eve when your name isn’t mentioned anywhere in the song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer– DON’T FREAKING DO IT.
You are not an elf. Making yourself miserable in order to give a person an item — even a lovely handmade item — is, IM(ever-so-slightly)HO, still consumerist. You do not need an item to demonstrate your love. Someone who really loves you would surely rather you not be stressed to the breaking point at the most wonderful time of the dang year than that you cram in an ill-planned gift for them, along with the eight pairs of socks, two hats, and EFFING sweater you somehow thought you might finish in the 18 remaining days before the bomb drops on X-Day.
And that’s another thing: To the people knitting eight pairs of socks or some other crazy nonsense, you are NOT “sock-close” with eight people. If you are, you’re probably not really and you ought to focus on the depth of your supposed friendships.
Okay, if you are counting Nanas and Pawpaws and whathaveyous, then maybe you could get to eight, but dang people — socks are good year round. There are birthdays. There are un-birthdays. You shouldn’t really give that many socks in a whole year, never mind blowing your wad on one little holiday. Socks are the big guns, people. They should be reserved for the people who gave your parents, you or your children life and really close, life-long friends who can’t knit for serious, legitimate reasons (like carpal tunnel or previous amputations).
Remember — you are a person, not one of Santa’s elves. As such, you are supposed to enjoy the holiday. It’s kind of hard to drink nog, be jolly, and generally loaf about and enjoy the bounty if you’re frantically knitting two socks at once while you desperately parse the intricate cable chart for the sweater you were suppose to start yesterday and, all the while, internally hand-wring over how you’re going to fit in the three pairs of mittens you just have to knit for the long-lost second cousins you just found out would be coming to Aunt Sally’s X-mas bunch.Yeesh.
If this sounds familar, seriously, put down the knitting. Or the recipe. Or the glue gun. Or whatever. Just put. it. down. and take a tip that I picked up from my perpetually broke Uncle Trim: give cheap useful shit.
Think Duck tape, batteries, packs of decent-ish pens, playing cards, super glue, etc… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone, “Do we have any *blank* in the house,” and damned if I hadn’t just gotten some of whatever it was from Uncle Trim. You can pull the same stunt with kids, just remember that here “useful” is relative: crayons, markers, colored pencils, a good coloring book, a tub or two of weird colored Play-Doh (Seb thought I was the Second Coming for a $1 worth of black), jacks, jump ropes, or marbles are good bets.
Everyone likes candy… get someone a full-sized box of their favorite candy. And it doesn’t *have* to be homemade — actually, in this case it’s often better that it’s not. When people have a special treat that they love, it’s often very specific. If someone tried to give you homemade Reece’s Pieces or Reece’s Cups, for example, well, that would clearly be FAIL. The whole point is that they taste like bizarro-world peanut sugar… delicious, delicious bizarro-world peanut-sugar.
If it’s going to be homemade, feel free to be choosy on who you spend the effort on. For example, my best friend once made me Fleur de Sel Caramels; this was entirely worth it. Not only are caramels my favorite, salty caramels are my super duper all-time favorite, not to mention that I like foodie stuff and I appreciate handmade items. It totally goes on my list of awesomest presents ever and every once and a while I still wax poetic about them. However, when I mentioned this super thoughtful gift to my mom, I’m pretty sure she said something along the lines of, “Why the hell would you *make* caramels?” Aaannnnddd…
Mom gets a box of Turtles from Target.
This is how it should be. Handmade is only thoughtful if the recipient appreciates handmade. People you aren’t really very close to — and even many you are (*cough*mom*cough*) –aren’t going to feel offended that you didn’t handmake them commemorative fair-isle mittens or an expertly curated selection of holiday cookies from around the world. Chances are they’d also rather not feel obligated to prove anything via material objects and would, probably just like yourself, simply like to enjoy your company in a festive atmosphere. If you really must get them something, I swear — everyone could use some Duck tape. EVERYONE.


10 comments
Comments feed for this article
December 8, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Robiewankenobie
best. post. EVER.
December 8, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Tammy
seriously…..THANK you for stating what should be abundantly clear but apparently never is…..and for the record, people…..I love white-out and Sharpies!
December 8, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Laura J
Thank-you for reminder. I think everyone is getting duct tape this year
December 9, 2010 at 1:04 am
melissa
awesome.
that is all.
December 9, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Lottie
Genius. Crazy, isn’t it, how this stuff isn’t obvious?
December 9, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Heather Cawte
Absolutely!
December 10, 2010 at 12:07 am
robyn
I once got toilet paper at a staff gift exchange and I remember thinking “finally, something I can use.”
December 12, 2010 at 10:26 am
Susie
Agreeing with you completely. Also: never think to yourself, what shall I knit for this person who doesn’t like knitted items, comes out in hives if he/ she touches wool and hides behind the sofa if a sheep comes on the telly to prove to them how wonderful knitted/ handmade items are. Because this will never go well. Box of maltesers/ book token. And Uncle Trim has it right!
December 29, 2010 at 6:07 am
radiantsheep
i totally should have commented when i first read it, but this post is awesome sauce and has been thoroughly enjoyed by me.
i’ve tried to communicate the value of cheap useful shit to my own family, who in the past has refused to buy me such things when i’ve requested them. apparently rechargeable batteries just aren’t *fun* enough to be gifts. wtf? i use those things constantly. this year it was thick socks. dammit, i *need* good socks. i’m living in the fucking great white north here. why does my mother think i will better appreciate some salsa mix and footless tights when my toes are freezing?
so, amen to the cheap useful shit.
January 2, 2011 at 2:09 am
jessivowels
Footless tights almost seem mean-spirited when taken in consideration of your locale. Also, this makes me want to knit you socks.